reidharriscooper | LJ Idol: Idol Mini 2024-Week 1 ("The Bird Man")

I have made some severe mistakes in life, the kind that scar deeply but only on the inside. The kind of scars you only see if I tell you where to look. I have plenty of scars outside too, but telling you the emotional choice cuts? That 's a risk. A risk you can't always take with family, or even a loved one of the heart, but a friend... a soul friend, the risk still exists, but you take it. You take it especially when they have done the same with you.

I have been very fortunate to have a soul brother, someone who since college and the double digits of years since has stuck by me thick and thin through the best and worst of times, and vice versa and even for the last five years continents apart.

There was one particular night along the way that created this bond to be as insanely strong as it is. It speaks to mistakes done, mistakes to come and forgiving one self of mistakes and trusting each other in those mistakes to be “absolved” as it may be seen.

“The Bird Man”

The two of us alone

in the tiny one bedroom apartment

he has moved into

with his future ex-wife and her daughter

them away in another country

we choose a random time

to take our own mini vacation

a visit to another dimension

through natural means

at first all is fun

all is jovial

we are having an experience

on the spectral timeline

a shared universe

of mind expansion

but as it does

the real world comes crashing in

details are fuzzy

a phone call

a punched wall

crying and hugging

sharing and caring

as we come back up

or head back down

switching on the tube

looking for something

anything to break

the vibes

he a mess

I there for him

but still shroomed

eddie murphy's raw

does not hit right

curse words and insulting

films are all a garble

can not comprehend

somehow drop on a news report

a man was accused of bird molestation

there was a standstill outside his home

the fbi was involved

the man ended up killing the bird

claimed it was out of love

then killed himself

“a love murder suicide”

years since I can't find video

or an article

but we use it as a reference

to all the things we do

or have done to us

for all the pain

all the strife

every loss

every grief

every pain

every sorrow

we do not ever have it as bad as

'the bird man'

it's a setting point

a respect

we take each other at our absolute worst

and still support

because no matter what...

we do not ever have it as bad as the birdman.

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I think about that now in my current crop of life. One of my best friends 8000 miles and 12 hours away by time zone, yet still a phone call away, with my days now being a full time caregiver to my mom in her most desperate moments. My life on pause as it is. He enjoying his time with his teaching and life and current wife but still always finding new struggles in the everyday. Conversations of where we are mentally, emotionally and remembering that no matter what, no matter how bad it may ever seem...

We do not ever have it as bad as the birdman.

{Written for LJ Idol: Idol Mini 2024-Week 1: Someone who will love you in all your damaged glory}